guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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