If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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