Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Just pee around me
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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