# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
