The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
