I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
