Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
