It's just like the Real World with babies
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
