From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
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