dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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