I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
