You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
