how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
