By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
