just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
