I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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