The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
