I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
