I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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