I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
