your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
