i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
