Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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