Pappa wants mamma naked
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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