I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
