Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
