In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
