Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
