So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
