were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
