I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Randomize