You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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