rhymes with "ouble enetration"
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
