just come out here and I will go home with you...
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
