she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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