That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize