Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
