Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
