I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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