the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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