ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
