she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
