So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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