there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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