Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Randomize
