That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
