The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
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