i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
