i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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