I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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