Quick, to the slutcave!
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
