He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
