We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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