I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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