Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
