There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
