someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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