it wasn't lemon gatorade
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
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