Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
