If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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